doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
