I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
