Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I forget how to act sober
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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