Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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