I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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