It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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