All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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