My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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