I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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