I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize