she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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