You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
