I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How's work?
Spinning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
