I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
