Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
