The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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