Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
