How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
