Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize