So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
