A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
