two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
