his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
