just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
