haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
