i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
