$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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