Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
