the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Randomize
