The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
