Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
