it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
