hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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