just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The power of my boobs compel you
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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