He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
try to milk me bitch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
