Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
