If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
