I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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