omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wish my penis had a tongue
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
