my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
