OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
