I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize