Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
