I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize