Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
