drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
