Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
