I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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