I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
