you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
