We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize