So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
