dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
