Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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