'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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