Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
