I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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