So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize