Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize