Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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