shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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