What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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