I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize