what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
