Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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