yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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